Tips on how to raise your child alone, including finding role models, building strong bonds, and finding time for simple parenting time.
No one ever said that raising a child alone would be easy, but sometimes every single parent needs help. Here are some tips for single parents to help ease the stress of going it alone.
You’re Not the Only One
It is easy to feel alone when you are a raising a child by yourself, but according to Parenting Without Partners, more than 12 million families in the United States are single parent families because of a death, divorce or seperation. Families with only one parent are becoming the “norm,” and resources are becoming more available for single parents.
Take advantage of your local resources for single parenting by contacting your local welfare office. They will have lists of single parent workshops, community groups, and counseling that you may want to take part in. They may also refer you to organizations that will be able to help you find daycare, after school programs, and other needs.
You can also find support groups for single parents online. This can be helpful for parents who don’t have time to attend traditional face-to-face meetings. To find these groups simply type “single parent online support groups” into your search engine. Before joining any particular group, try to find out as much as possible about the group and how it works. You may find that some groups work better for you than others.
The Importance of Filling the Gap
Since your child only has one parent, you may want to find a role model who can help to fill in the gap left by the parent not in your child’s life. For example, moms raising a child by themselves may find it helpful to enlist an uncle or friend to be a male role model for their child. A father may find an aunt or friend to fill the place of a female role model for his child.
This way, the child has a female and male to learn from and gets a more balanced view of the world. You also have someone to turn to when your child asks you gender specific questions that you feel uncomfortable with. For example, a father may have a hard time explaining the use of feminine products to his daughter. But, if the child has a trusted female role model, then she has someone to talk to that has experience with feminine products.
Some places to find a good role model:
- Big Brother-Big Sister agencies
- Aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins
- Religious leaders in your community
- Coaches
- Teachers
Keeping Family Ties Strong
Finding ways to spend time with your child can make all the difference in building strong family ties. Showing them that you care doesn’t have to come in a huge, grand gesture, though. Kids appreciate the little things that you do for them. Here are some ideas:
- Read a book to them before bedtime.
- Play a five minute game of hide-and-seek.
- Have a sit-down dinner together and talk about your day.
- Take pictures whenever possible and let your child decide where to display them in the house.
- Write your child a little, loving note and stick it in their backpack or lunchbox.
Take Care of Yourself
To be the best parent you can be, remember that if you aren’t happy, your child isn’t happy. Take care of yourself and the rest will come more easily.
Resources
PWP, International (2000). Facts About Single Parent Families. Retrieved January 29, 2008, from the Parenting Without Partners web site.
Edmondson, Jean E., Thomas B. Holman and W. Reed Morrell. (1984). "The need for and effectiveness of surrogate role models among single-parent children". The Journal of Primary Prevention, 5(2), 111-123.
Wolf, Jennifer(2008). Reviews of Online Dating Web Sites and Services. Retrieved January 29, 2008, from the About.com Single Parents web site.
