Sending Love...My Different-Functional Family
Helping Children Understand Divorce From a Kid's Perspective
Jul 15, 2009
Like many parents, Lori Hilliard searched high and low for a book to help her 5-year old son understand the changes facing their family when she and her husband divorced. She never found exactly what she was looking for, so she decided to write the book herself.
A Child's Perspective
Sending Love...My "Different-Functional" Family is aimed at children 2-10 years old. Five-year old Joshua introduces himself and his family and talks about his life. "I live by the lake and I live by the mountains." Joshua explains that he has two homes – one with his mom and one with his dad.
Joshua gives children just as much information as they need. He explains that his parents are divorced and that it was hard for him to understand what that meant at first. Now he's figured out that it means his parents are not married anymore and don't live together but they both still love him very much.
Joshua explains that he lives with his mom most of the time and goes to school near his mom's house while his sister and brother live with their dad most of the time and go to school near his house. Still, he loves both of his parents and has fun with both of them and he knows that they both love him.
"Different-Functional"
Not long after her divorce, an acquaintance said something to Lori Hilliard about her family being dysfunctional. Hilliard answered that her family is not dysfunctional, they're just "different-functional."
In the book, Joshua explains that just because something is different doesn't mean that there is anything wrong. Sometimes, the things that make us different also make us special. He recognizes that even though his family is different, he has a lot of people that love him.
Children Can Relate
Lori Hilliard and her ex-husband worked together on the photography for the book and the results are amazing. Each page is filled with bright colorful images that are sure to captivate children. In contrast to some of the other children's books about divorce, this story is told by a real child, not a cartoon character or animal.
In the back of the book, after Joshua's story, there are several pages for parents to paste pictures of their own children and family. There is also a page where parents can write a note to their children - "Your Story." This makes the story much more real and personal for young children.
Hilliard, Lori. Sending Love...My "Different-Functional" Family. Lehi, UT: Aspenwood Publishing, 2009, ISBN: 978-0-980-1737-2-7.
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