Internet Dating for Divorced Single Women & Men
Online Romance Tips for Finding Love Online
Jul 10, 2009
Almost everyone who loses a spouse through divorce ends up thinking about internet dating. Many divorced men and women actually try it. And, there is no stigma associated with dating websites these days, because: Where else can someone over 30, over 40, over 50, over 60, go to meet single, available people of the opposite gender? Here are some online romance tips for finding love and avoiding jerks.
While it is good to know that many people end up in a second marriage with someone from the internet, it is also good to keep one’s eyes open and not be love struck by:
- Beautiful photos of ugly people
- Men or women who sound “so normal”
- Gold-diggers who are 20 years younger than the men they “date”
- Married men, of any kind
- Gigolos, who house-sit, and invite women over to "their" homes
Wait! There is hope for those who persevere. Good guys and Suzie Homemakers can actually be found. Wonderful people do date online. It just takes a while to find them.
Don’t Expect Instant Happiness with Online Romance
In the internet article, "10 Things Online Dating Sites Won't Say" [Smart Money.com, Feb. 2009], author Jason Kephart is very good at explaining things succinctly. Here is the author's first tip:
“Keep your hopes high and your expectations low.”
Kephart explains that online dating is no longer taboo. Websites like match.com, eHarmony, Yahoo Personals, and others, average 20 million visitors a month. So, posting one’s photo online has gone totally mainstream. Kephart says that a Harris survey discovered that approximately 2% of marriages, in the U.S. today, are the result of an eHarmony connection.
But, it’s not always easy to find romance. Even after email contact with someone, people must meet the potential date in person, to see if there’s chemistry (for both parties).
According to social-sciences researcher Jeana Frost, who is quoted in the Kephart article, "People respond to so many attributes that have to be experienced…You can't just find someone compatible by using a search button."
Everyone’s Lying About Something
Tip number three from Kephart is, "Everyone’s Lying About Something.” The internet dating article continues, “Some online suitors stretch the truth to get a date.”
Really? Just expect it. Be pleasantly surprised when real-life people resemble their online photos.
It’s so easy to fudge the numbers when no one’s looking (like when filling out a dating profile), though it’s not always with evil intent. For example, many women who are 32 say that they are 29, in order for their photo to show up in online searches. And, dating site bios are a perfect place for people to “describe their ideal self”, instead of writing revealing, soul-searching, objective appraisals.
Don’t Be Naive
Number 5 on the list, is about money. Kephart is searingly accurate with this one:
“Fall in Love Too Quickly and You Could End Up Broke.”
Daters should be on the lookout for scams. And, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Red flags mentioned in his article:
- A pretty face who asks a man to pay for a plane ticket
- Any man or woman, whose bio says that he or she is local, but is, actually, in Eastern Europe.
A reasonable person might also add that some men, from other countries, are looking for a free ticket to American citizenship through the institution of marriage. And, in the spirit of equality, it must be pointed out that women can be gaming a similar move. However, if a man or women seems up front, they may not be involved in a ruse.
Online Dating Website Scams
The Better Business Bureau states that one very common complaint about online dating services is that the company continues to charge a customer’s credit card after a person has cancelled their subscription.
The article, "How to quit the gym (or anything)" [Christopher Solomon. MSN.com. 2009] says, “If you're having trouble getting an internet dating service to refund your money, contact your credit card company.” The credit card company sometimes will remove the charge. Read this article to deal with companies who work these continuing-charge scams.
Internet Dating and Happy Endings
Do not give up hope. After deciding to get out into the world again, internet dating can be a great experience for divorced singles. However, don’t expect instant happiness. It can take years to find the right person. And, remember that people lie. They could be telling “a little white lie” or they could be feeding someone a wallet-stomping whopper. Hope for a happy ending. It’s out there, somewhere.
Read more articles about Divorce and Life After Divorce.
Information from this article is not intended to be a substitute for advice from a lawyer, financial planner, therapist, or other professional. Please consult a lawyer, therapist, or other professional for specific advice.
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